a crack under the closet door
the blackest of black
demons reside there
my monsters reside there
so I stare at it
from the edge of my bed
willing them to not turn the knob

the thousand year old boy
is 374 miles under the Earth
in a space the size of a bathtub
he used to be one of us
breathing this dust-free air
now he digs further down
pushing the debris above him
his body is all but rock now
as he gets closer to the core
more of him melts
but he continues
soon he will be a puddle
and he will harden and stop

warm, thick and windy
the ocean and the desert
have come over the mountains
the smell of yellow grass
all culminates into weirdness
fitting this long awaited day

my room is cold
and there is no heater

the most wonderful daydream
being close to inconsequential
just one of the pals
but you can depend on her
and you like to spend time with her
go out for a raucous evening
dolled up and grinning and comfy
she talks to strangers and you
big network of loose acquaintances
always someone to fill up space
but there’s always the core few
and they’re meaningless in the world
she’s just getting along
everyone’s just getting along
not struggling, but not soaring
it’s so inconsequential
it can’t be the most wonderful

12 boxes
a dresser
a bed
4 bins
and panic

I feel normal
I am human
my life is a collection of moments
I smile
I cry
I grit my teeth
I jump
I lie motionless
I exist
and it doesn’t seem to be that different on a basic level

eyes closed
side by side
heavy soft bass
not awake or asleep
100% content

it’s weird to know it
it’s weird to know this
this thing since I was little
it’s over, it’s decided
but it doesn’t feel triumphant
because there’s so much more left

five fingers tapping on a couch cushion
the nerves in hand unaware of the brain
just tap, tap, tap is what they’re told
the endless march eventually ends
press the buttons on the remote
it’s a new task, and the old never existed
the pressing is endless and forever
the firm squish of plastic is all there is
until lifting the popcorn is everything