blurry lights
eyes alright
throat is tight
do excite
so I write
about might,
a good fight,
and ignite
inner light

I lie in the backseat
third row bench-seat
Santana and Neil Young
ebb out of the speaker
it’s a lot of bass
and I remember old games
I used to love to play
racing and adventure games
I slip in and out of sleep
reliving my fervent attempts
to win a meaningless race
to press the right buttons
to beat a boss
with no real world consequences
I miss that
eventually I sit back up
go home on a wave of nostalgia

the air is cold
and I’m at the cusp
of being too cold
this state is adventure
and actions not yet taken
a blissful realness
I am so present

grumpy Tell
in total hell
ready to yell
oh, well

we’re lonely
even when we’re together
waiting for someone
or something special
because what we have
isn’t good enough
we want more
we need more
even though we have so much
we complain
about what we don’t have
we wait for meaning
looking sadly at lovers
at friends
at family
at hobbies
at passions
because it doesn’t feel enough
because someone can write it better
we want an imaginary world
with unspeakable emotion
and dauntless decisions
a true adventure
we won’t get it
but that striving
that yearning
that desire
enriches our souls
truly makes us human
how flawed are we?
to mumble glumly at the world
to look up at the stars and want
how brilliant are we?
to recognize our situation
and think we can have it even better
that’s innate human self-esteem
that’s how much we value us
nothing but better than the best
and I think it’s beautiful

the feel of it is smooth against my skin
I bought it at a special store for yarn
for when I get the urge to knit, begin
knit, knit, hold, double toe-up socks to darn
to decrease, you just knit two together
to increase, you pull it and yarn-over
in the craft, I’m always getting better
my supply of yarn is ever lower
almost every pattern is my ad lib
I create hats and mittens in the round
knit, purl, knit, purl, knit, purl, one by one rib
the constant repetition is profound
my hobby is basically therapy
combo of art and math, a rarity

I’m growing a cucumber
and it’s starting well
for the first week,
I thought that I’d failed
but three sprouts popped up
the next day, one more
three inches tall and no flowers
but it’s progress
all because I tried again

my future is a mess of knots
time naturally untangles
by myself, I’ve untangled
one string from the rest
but it took me two years
and I’m not really sure
if I should untangle more
or let time do its thing
I’m more curious about some
and I have no idea where to start
I guess I’ll work on an easy one first

bring on the crisis
bring on the challenge
just make sure it’s when I’m not home