12 boxes
a dresser
a bed
4 bins
and panic

I feel normal
I am human
my life is a collection of moments
I smile
I cry
I grit my teeth
I jump
I lie motionless
I exist
and it doesn’t seem to be that different on a basic level

eyes closed
side by side
heavy soft bass
not awake or asleep
100% content

it’s weird to know it
it’s weird to know this
this thing since I was little
it’s over, it’s decided
but it doesn’t feel triumphant
because there’s so much more left

five fingers tapping on a couch cushion
the nerves in hand unaware of the brain
just tap, tap, tap is what they’re told
the endless march eventually ends
press the buttons on the remote
it’s a new task, and the old never existed
the pressing is endless and forever
the firm squish of plastic is all there is
until lifting the popcorn is everything

a girl with beautiful blue eyes
sits solitary in a rowboat
she’s been waiting two hours
one hour past when he said
he still hasn’t shown up
she wrings her fingers
her eyes are watery
but she refuses to blink
the water laps at the sides
she remains motionless
even as noises tempt her
another hour passes
she knows he isn’t coming
but waiting was a testimony
her legs ache and shake
as she walks away alone

cool head
thought out
deliberate action
it’s admirable
I have a new protagonist

everyone touched my toes
figuring out an old rhyme
I felt like a kid again

needles and teeth
wind in and around
running, screaming
hold it up to the light
don’t breathe
count to five
hold up a flare
pearls and claws